With all my powers I couldn’t caption this one if you paid me….
I’m Different - Portal - Poster by Ron Guyatt
I was going to draw a bunch of cards for Valentines day but I’m lazy, so instead here are some romantic things to write in your V-Day cards:
- I bought you a diamond, can I stick it in your butt now?
- I promise to stop making your dog lick peanut butter off my ballsack
- Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to butt fuck you.
- I love you kind of, like not like love love, but I do love sticking stuff in your vagina
- If you lost some weight I probably wouldn’t fantasize about cheating on you so much.
- Here’s $10, buy something nice, like food. Seriously we are out of food get off your lazy cunt-ass and buy some.
- If we had a safe word it would be “don’t stop” because I never want to stop loving you
- I wrote a haiku. I forgot how many syllables this thing needs. Is this too many? I love you.
- If you were a horse with a broken leg I’d feel kind of bad for making you into glue because of how much I love you.